Do fresh starts only come at the doorstep of a new year?

Chaos surrounds me.
I feel a constant urge to tidy up—my things, my life, even my passwords.
I’ve never been the kind of person who lets their inbox overflow or leaves their closet a mess...
But I’ve also never been the kind who feels paralyzed if things aren't perfectly in order.

Now, though?
I’m almost incapable of getting through my tasks—both personal and professional.
Every time I decide to push forward and work harder, I find myself facing the clutter around me.
I can't even start an urgent project without reorganizing my computer, my accounts, my logins.

And when that feels overwhelming,
I catch myself opening social media,
scrolling through videos like someone turning off the lights
just so they don’t have to see the mess.

Sometimes I wonder if I’ve developed OCD.
But deep down, I know I haven’t.
The mess is real. It does need sorting out.
Living with it isn’t “normal”—pretending it is, that’s the problem.

So today, I’m declaring a new beginning.
Not because it’s a new year. Not because the calendar says so.
But because waiting for a perfect moment is what got me stuck in the first place.

I’ve decided to give myself smaller beginnings—every day, every hour if I have to—
until one of them finally takes off
and carries me toward the version of myself I know I can be.

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